I know we all get that end-of-the-year motivation to set goals but many of us kind of bumble through them. If you’re someone who already has it all together, props to you and I want to hear your techniques too And if that’s not you, then this mindset will help you make 2020 a better year.
And of course it’s not just for New Year’s resolutions. This mindset is something I use all the time to hack life and also make it feel a bit more epic.
So when I was feeling the bubbly love and joy of the holidays, I made this video for my YouTube channel (Geek Psychology) about goal setting with a technique adapted from ICRPG: Location Obstacle Goal. HERE’s the link.
I, too, feel reflective this time of year, and set goals for the year ahead. I keep myself organized with a bullet journal. This last year I started that habit, and I love it. It took me some time to figure out how best to utilize it, and also what particular adventures I want to pursue in my life. In 2020 I’m starting a fresh bullet journal, which will be much more organized and focused than the 2019 one. In 2019 I let the torrent flood my life; in 2020 I’m channeling all that energy where I want.
I also meet with friends on New Year’s Eve and hold a symbel (pronounced “some bull”). It’s an ancient drinking ceremony in which people brag about their accomplishments the year past, and boast about what they will do in the coming year. Then those friends become a support network, cheering each other on throughout the year. We meet quarterly to review things. I have found this tradition very fun and motivating.
I will watch your video later today, but just from the first minute, I can tell you’re my kind of awesome!
May your reflections lead to powerful manifestations ^^
That’s great that you bullet journal! I tried bullet journaling for a little bit but got distracted. I ended up making my own process from it. But I think that’s kinda the point, right? Make it your own and find a way to incorporate what serves you.
What are your goals for 2020 if you don’t mind me asking? Maybe there’s someone here who can help
That symbel traditions sounds fantastic. I’ll try it out! I think having your own mastermind type situation with a group of close friends would be really beneficial and strengthen bonds
I’m going to admit some odd personal things here, 2018 and beginning of 2019 was a long dark tea time of the soul moment for me.
For those that don’t get the Douglas Adams title, the long dark night of the soul is a more common take on a similar situation that we often call depression. But it’s a particular type of depression that has you evaluating your place in the world.
I’m calling mine a tea time as it has not been totally debilitating, but it was revolutionary for me and I am not out of it, but I am mostly functional at this point.
All that said, @Geek_Psychology. Your videos are a bit on the daunting side with the acronyms. Soooo can you suggest a primer? Where to start to get up to speed and delve through your content?
That said I did a top level view through your website and videos (20 minutes) and you are part of a world I did not know existed till a year ago or so, and found funny as hell that it existed. But after talking to a few young bucks found it has given their lives a ton of value.
So I want to thank you for what you do, giving value and structure to people looking for a roadmap in this world and meeting them with their language (gaming).
So, now I am interested in the concepts and such, and also interested in what works for me so I can steal it by incorporating into my life, but also as a mechanic to recommend to others.
So thanks, and what’s a good primer? The pick up part has never been an issue for me, the cleaning my room has.
INTP-A is the type…totally forgot the meaning.
My typical silly season tradition is avoidance after Halloween, enjoy Thanksgiving, complete all obligations for Xmas, get silly when New Years falls on or near a weekend, and hide for February or March (playing video games or something) last year was hard, and I did not follow this norm.
Now I am focused on decluttering. It’s hard, but needed. I did clothes, next step is books ( that seems like it would be hard) starting it is the hardest part I think. After books I’ll be able to breathe a bit and kitchen (easy) then odds and ends…and that looks impossible but I hope, by then the process comes easier.
Regarding goals, how long ya got? XD One I’ll share is, for working in a health clinic, there’s an obscene amount of treats around here (cakes, cookies, donuts, candies, more donuts, bars, more cakes…). Nurses have some of the worst health metrics in the nation, and I intend to not be a statistic. So here it is: zero unplanned treats at work. I can bring my own damn Oreos if I want, but I won’t eat stuff others bring.
I did bullet journaling all 2019, and as you suggested, I did make it my own. This year I have honed my system. I’m going to try out BuJo RPG, a way of gamifying my habits and quests. I’ll get XP for not eating unplanned treats at work, for example One of my Quests, which the forum is already helping with, is to learn more about desktop publishing and make my Asklepion supplement for ICRPG.
I highly recommend the Symbel. Let me know if you’d like detailed instructions
@Paxx, thank you for sharing. Depression needs more visibility, and you are courageous like a true Shield to speak up. It’s neat you call it “tea time.” Makes me think of time to reflect, putting a positive spin on the situation.
Regarding decluttering… speaking as a minimalist, I highly recommend it. There’s a very approachable YouTuber named Lefie whom I find inspiring. She’s on the far end of minimalism, but each of us has to decide how far to take it; minimalism is a spectrum, and the only wrong way is the one that doesn’t serve you:
@everyone. So sorry, not my intent to be a downer for anyone. It’s just an interesting topic, that I have some recently discovered insights into. But I’m a total amateur and novice at it.
@Andreas. Can’t take the credit for long dark tea time of the Soul…that’s Douglas Adams of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy fame.
As to my depression, it’s the not getting out of bed type as opposed to the ending my existence type…so it’s not that dark. (My attempt at levity with a hard topic that needs a bit more levity)
As to courageous, for me it’s a factoid. I’m going through depression. For many however, even admitting it is a sign of weakness. I don’t understand that, but I get it. There is an existential threat that many feel of others knowing something weak about them will put them at risk. Thanks for the compliment, I agree it should be talked about more.
Only hesitation is about bringing others down, or such, and the venue. But it’s Errata, and inspirational…it all goes in both ways. It’s random and people act in ways that makes no sense even to themselves.
I often hope a Comedian will do a great funny, light and entertaining bit on depression. It would remind us to laugh about it as well. It is totally mind boggling to me, that I can renationalize not getting out of bed except to eat and poo, and when I get bored, there is YouTube or some movie, but I fall asleep watching anything 30 minutes in…if something engages me…I’m up and pacing the backyard as I think about it.
It fits my brand of idiocy.
But seeing an example of Lefie. Wow, nope not my goal, but admirable. I would not mind not having beds…too much square footage for little use. However, there is freedom in living out of a backpack.
Thanks for the link.
Though I’m decluttering, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to call myself a minimalist. Not even a goal, it’s just a goal that the next time I move it only requires one truck to transport my stuff.
Thanks for sharing! I think this community is full of supportive people that can definitely help and also resonate with “the long dark tea time of the soul”. I’ve certainly struggled with it myself.
You said you’re an INTP, so I’d suggest working on getting out, exploring, and also creating things. The pull of “comfort” and not wanting to challenge the past by creating new possibilities is very strong. I’m an INFP, which means we share that conscious struggle of wanting to change things but being afraid to or feeling incapable of it due largely to not taking lessons from the past forward and implementing them in a positive way…
For INTP specific videos from my channel:
(i can’t take out the music now unfortunately, but it seems to be a helpful video)
If you want to learn the whole system of cognitive functions (the mental processes that make up the MBTI type-code) through RPG analogies, I made this series several years ago too. I’ve changed terminology and model a bit as I’ve learned more, but I’m sure you can connect the dots.
You can write me personally if you have questions about it too.
Thanks for sharing, @Andreas! That’s pretty surprising that the health metrics are so low for a group of people that are there to help other people’s health…
BuJo RPG looks cool! I did something like that years ago and found my old journals just last week - I got inspired again to bring more RPG into my journal. I’ve been thinking about turning things like “not eating unplanned treats” in your case to “buffs” or “boons” and completing or progressing on tasks to XP. Maybe when I get enough buffs then I get to treat myself to something nice Debuffs/Banes would be the opposite.
I do want detailed instructions! I see some stuff on it online but it’s not very detailed.
I’m workin on a game as well. Surprise surprise lol. I have one supplement for ICRPG and one based on PbtA. All with the intent of helping people get to know the “heroes within” in game and out of game. Working on improving my marketing and life coaching models so I can help more gamers get into personal development.
I’ll admit, I already found some of the videos, but the entire list is more data . And https://youtu.be/-rlk3J5XEqk that is a very long form concept. But very informative.
I’ll probably take you up on sending a private message, it’s really cool that you offered.
Yup, is spent quite a bit of my day on the personality type rabbit hole.
As far as creating a game or supplement…yup I think we are all there. @Runehammer has been a great help in realizing my first concept and second concept as well as my third concept is probably way too complex.
Engaging my trying to help and solve your difficulties… I think adding distance between your Player Character and your player (think OSR) is an interesting way to engage people. Right now I am ruminating on a setting that has 3~5 distinct times, the player’s character are using avatars of the known dead, and through a process that the PC inhabitants the bodies just after the soul leaves them, attempt to at first observe the past, and then to change the future.
This creates a two layered character that challenges the players.
@Shadymutha is going through the “how to publish” issue and is fairly advanced in the process, and there are others here who have already executed. But explaining in text is a chore. Perhaps asking them @Khan , @Dave_Thaumavore and or @Runehammer for a consult phone call/internet call. And offering some incentives for their time, might help. @Alex is certainly in the midst of it, but his time I am certain is limited at the moment.
As for me, getting out of my comfort zone has been my bread and butter, but recently loosing a bit of identity, getting into debt and moving from easy access to friends, restricting my freedom, have all played a factor in my depression. It’s a process. But I do need to expose myself to new stimulation and environments.
Anyway thanks for the offer and @Andreas thanks for engaging. External validation is always welcome even when I have no idea how to thank someone properly.
The original Symbel ceremony is lost to antiquity. Many people have made their own variations, myself included. I have various drinks on hand to cater to a wide variety of tastes and dietary needs. What people drink is less important than that they drink as a symbol of their commitment. I make sure everyone has a glass.
I gather everyone around and give a short speech on fellowship and reflection. Then we each take turns in a circle. We pour ourselves a drink from our decanter of choice and propose a Toast to someone or something that has given us inspiration. That’s round 1. On round 2 we each take another drink and make a Boast about something we’ve accomplished in the year past. On round 3, the final round, we each make an Oath - something we intend to do in the year to come.
I’ve had some really wild stuff happen at Symbels. One friend, for his Oath, chugged 20 oz of vodka Sprite, took two deep breaths, and then finally asked another friend out on a date. She said yes, and it was glorious.
@Khan you are correct, and I appreciate your offer to help. November I started NaNoWriMo and got thick into that. I’m just now circling back to publishing, so I’ll message you back soon. Sorry I didn’t communicate that better. Like I said, 2019 was a flood of creativity that overwhelmed me, and I’m just now figuring out how to channel it
Lol!! When I realize I fear something I usually have the Reaction of “M@?$&3; $&@?:;(m ‘“. Then I get down to do it…other than finding everything that is more important. But I wish and sometimes just hunker down and do it.
I recommend the setting of a deadline, and get it done.
If you need to you can finish it, make the final adjustments after.
And if that’s not you, then this mindset will help you make 2020 a better year.
One of my Quests, which the forum is already helping with, is to learn more about desktop publishing and make my Asklepion supplement for ICRPG.